When a husband and a wife get together
and have a child this is the most beautiful miracle that is here on this earth.
Unfortunately this little bundle of joy can take a negative toll on a marriage.
The marriage is now different because of this new addition, and it can do some
harm on a relationship between a husband and a wife. There is a type of fall
out with the man and woman as they each have to make a special effort to take
care of their baby. The husband and wife spend less time with each other
because all of the attention is on this child that needs this extra attention.
Men have to adopt fatherhood into their
identities. The men need to become the type of father that takes care of the
finances and provides for his family, or he needs to become a father that is
highly involved and caring. On average men take on the bread-winning role and
provide for their family financially. Unfortunately this leads to the father
not being as involved in his children’s life, and they don’t pay attention to
their children’s needs. Men also take on the role of a highly involved and
caring parent. Men who take on the role of caregiver to their children
unfortunately receive the distinction that they are feminized, and are not able
to hold their own as a normal man. These men are degraded. Also, men who take
on the care-giving role tend to be thought as a man who is not capable of ruling
or being dominant in any political or social contexts. These men are thought of
as weaker. These outcomes can be very stressful for a man, and it is something
for him to consider before he becomes a father.
Becoming a parent is not only hard on
the husband, but it also takes a toll on the wife. Women not only have to go
through the whole pregnancy process of having children, but what happens after
the child is born is what can be most difficult on a marriage. The work that
comes with the emotional aspect of mothering a child takes a large toll on the
woman. Fathering a child takes an emotional toll too, but it is especially
difficult on the woman. Besides the fact that the woman has to take care of
their new baby she also has many decisions to make once she becomes a mother.
She needs to decide if she is going to continue in the work-force, or if she is
going to stay home. The husband and wife need to decide who is going to be the
bread-winner, and who is going to stay home and be the caregiver, or if both are
going to continue working. The woman spends so much time with her child giving
it the nurturing and care that it needs. This can be very stressful for the
woman.
The husband and wife also need to take
the time to have one on one time with each other so that their relationship is
not diminished. Because the new mother and father spend so much time taking
care of their new baby, it is easy for them to forget to take care of each
other. The husband might feel neglected because his wife is spending so much
time with the baby and not with him, and this may be very hurtful for the husband.
The wife spends a lot of time taking care of their baby and sometimes she may
feel like her husband isn’t really trying hard to help her with this. Together
in their own way both husband and wife feel neglected and abandoned. It is very
important for the husband and wife to talk to each other about this and get
back to being in tune with each other. They need to make a special effort to
restore their sense of intimacy that they shared before. They need to be extra
supportive to each other and communicate better, and their sexual relationship
needs to be enhanced.
Bringing a child into a marriage is very
stressful and can have a negative impact on the husband and wife relationship.
But if the husband and wife work together at keeping their intimate relationship
strong, and work together at raising their child, then they will be able to
have a strong marriage and an even stronger family.
Please share your thoughts and feelings.
Alysha you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like that you identified what both partner is going to experiencing and interestingly enough they are SO similar and at this time they agree more than anything. Its just a communication issue! What practices do you think can be adapted prior to having a child to help refrain from marriage deterioration?
Thanks
Maddison Dillon
During the pregnancy the wife can involve her husband in the whole experience. She can have him feel when the baby is kicking, or has hiccups and things like that. She can also have him go through the whole birthing process with her, like go to meetings and such. After the baby is born the wife can have her husband be very involved with the child, like feedings, and baby milestones. The wife, before and after the child is born can make a special effort to pay attention to her husband so he wouldn't feel neglected.
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