Father Involvement

Fatherhood has changed immensely over the span of time. Fathers and mothers worked side by side their children before the industrial revolution. Fathers would work on their farms with their children teaching them how to work, instructing them in spiritual matters and in things not spiritual. Children, especially sons, could learn a lot from their father, and his example. The father did not have to leave home to go to work because the work was home. Men made a living at home, surviving off the land and making their own way. Children were able to spend a lot of time with their fathers because of this. Unfortunately, the industrial revolution changed all that. Men were able to leave home and find a more stable income working in factories. The fathers would end up working 14-16 hour workdays to try to bring in money for their families. This took the fathers from their homes and families for most of the day. This caused fathers to be more absent from their homes and families. Children were not able to be with their father as often as they used to. Children were not able to have that influence from their father like they used to have. Soon fathers were seen mainly as the bread winner who provided food for the table and not someone who fulfills any other paternal duty. There has been research done that shows that preteens, and teenagers need the type of leadership that only a father can provide, and children do better in school if their father is interested in their education and schooling. Because men are so busy with their work they feel like they do not have enough time to invest into their families, but if fathers find the time to spend with their children, their children will be able to benefit from their father’s influence. What I find important There are many things that I think is important for fathers to do to have a positive influence over their children. Children need their father in their lives, to be able to learn and grow and use what their father’s teach them in their lives. I think fathers need to spend more time at home with their children than the average father. I also think that fathers need to be more interested in their children’s schooling, social life, and spiritual life. Fathers also need to spend time working side by side with their children. Spend more time at home Fathers spend too much time at work, and not enough time at home with their families. Many men might feel very stressed when they are home, and might use work as an escape from the intensities of home. Some men might feel like they need to be constantly providing for their families so they have enough money to survive, or keep the children happy. If fathers would spend more time at home with their families they will find that that will be better for their children than providing them with a good income. Be interested in their education Fathers tend to feel like their child’s education is not on their list of paternal duties, and that he does not need to be involved, but what he does not know is that fathers can influence the children’s education immensely by being involved. Children tend to do better in school when their father is involved in their education. Be interested in their social life Fathers need to be interested in their children’s social life because they need to know and understand what their child is going through. Fathers need to be aware of the type of people that his children choose to hang out with and the type of influence that they have on his children. If a father is more involved in a child’s life, the boy will have a better male role model, and the girl will be less promiscuous. Be interested in their spiritual life If a father takes an interest in their child’s spiritual life, they will be able to have an influence on their child’s moral and spiritual values. Children will be able to use him as a positive influence spiritually, and will be able to use him as a good spiritual role model. Work side by side with them If a father works side by side his children he will be able to have a strong influence on his children. His children will be able to learn a great work ethic and be able to bond with their father in a way that they would not be able to otherwise. They will also know that their father is not a dictator commanding them to do things while watching them work. This will bring a closer bond between the father and his children. My experiences My dad is a great man. I am very grateful that I have the father that I do because I would be completely different if I had a different father. My father made sure that he gave his children the best he could. I love my father and I would not change him one bit. My father wanted to be able to spend more time with his children so he took a job where he had less hours and more free time. He was not able to bring in a lot of money like many fathers, but he was able to be with his children and spend more time with us. My father has always been interested in our social life and he has always known who our friends are and what we do. He has also invested himself in our education with schooling and spiritual education. Because of him I turned out the way I have. My father also worked side by side with us, showing us how to work and teaching us many things that we couldn’t have any other way. Future family In my future family I will marry a man who will be very invested in our children’s lives. I will marry a man who will spend more time at home, and work less away from home. He will also be invested in our children’s social life, spiritual life, and their education. My husband and myself will work side by side with our children so they will be able to bond with us and learn what I learned working with my father.

Then Comes The Baby In The Baby Carriage

When a husband and a wife get together and have a child this is the most beautiful miracle that is here on this earth. Unfortunately this little bundle of joy can take a negative toll on a marriage. The marriage is now different because of this new addition, and it can do some harm on a relationship between a husband and a wife. There is a type of fall out with the man and woman as they each have to make a special effort to take care of their baby. The husband and wife spend less time with each other because all of the attention is on this child that needs this extra attention.

Men have to adopt fatherhood into their identities. The men need to become the type of father that takes care of the finances and provides for his family, or he needs to become a father that is highly involved and caring. On average men take on the bread-winning role and provide for their family financially. Unfortunately this leads to the father not being as involved in his children’s life, and they don’t pay attention to their children’s needs. Men also take on the role of a highly involved and caring parent. Men who take on the role of caregiver to their children unfortunately receive the distinction that they are feminized, and are not able to hold their own as a normal man. These men are degraded. Also, men who take on the care-giving role tend to be thought as a man who is not capable of ruling or being dominant in any political or social contexts. These men are thought of as weaker. These outcomes can be very stressful for a man, and it is something for him to consider before he becomes a father.

Becoming a parent is not only hard on the husband, but it also takes a toll on the wife. Women not only have to go through the whole pregnancy process of having children, but what happens after the child is born is what can be most difficult on a marriage. The work that comes with the emotional aspect of mothering a child takes a large toll on the woman. Fathering a child takes an emotional toll too, but it is especially difficult on the woman. Besides the fact that the woman has to take care of their new baby she also has many decisions to make once she becomes a mother. She needs to decide if she is going to continue in the work-force, or if she is going to stay home. The husband and wife need to decide who is going to be the bread-winner, and who is going to stay home and be the caregiver, or if both are going to continue working. The woman spends so much time with her child giving it the nurturing and care that it needs. This can be very stressful for the woman.

The husband and wife also need to take the time to have one on one time with each other so that their relationship is not diminished. Because the new mother and father spend so much time taking care of their new baby, it is easy for them to forget to take care of each other. The husband might feel neglected because his wife is spending so much time with the baby and not with him, and this may be very hurtful for the husband. The wife spends a lot of time taking care of their baby and sometimes she may feel like her husband isn’t really trying hard to help her with this. Together in their own way both husband and wife feel neglected and abandoned. It is very important for the husband and wife to talk to each other about this and get back to being in tune with each other. They need to make a special effort to restore their sense of intimacy that they shared before. They need to be extra supportive to each other and communicate better, and their sexual relationship needs to be enhanced.

Bringing a child into a marriage is very stressful and can have a negative impact on the husband and wife relationship. But if the husband and wife work together at keeping their intimate relationship strong, and work together at raising their child, then they will be able to have a strong marriage and an even stronger family.

Please share your thoughts and feelings.